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Monday, January 26, 2015

The House That Jack Built

You ever feel like you can't get on top of one chore because 17 other things have to be done right NOW? Like I really need to set the table, but that means I have to move these school papers, but don't lose them because there is a permission slip in there for the horse farm field trip, plus an invitation to a birthday party at that jumping inflatable place, plus somebody's homework on the Peloponnesian War. Now I have to get the last of the breakfast dishes off the table, because somehow I missed this teacup saucer someone decided to eat an egg off of and now the yolk has super glued this spoon to it and these juice glasses are possibly never going to come clean at this point. Okay, now the mail, is this a bill? Is this a statement? Is this a real piece of mail from a friend or one of those typefaces that look like handwriting? How did we get signed up for Highlights magazine? Who ordered Highlights? Why are we subscribing to a magazine we read for free at the Doctor's office? Why are there American Girl doll shoes on the table? WHY IS THERE AN ACTUAL PAIR OF SHOES ON THE TABLE?! OMG, will the owner of these smelly lime green sneakers PLEASE come and get your shoes before I lose MY ACTUAL MIND. Okay, now I need to wipe the table down, potentially with bleach, why can I NOT FIND ANY PAPER TOWELS?! OMG!!!!!!

And then later, staring blankly at the straight bourbon you're sipping, over the stainless steel sink you keep wanting to replace, you realize it's not the table. It's the everything.

Dear Reader, I have a bad case of the Everything.

It all started when I decided to do something "Pinteresting" and try and use Pinterest boards to update my wardrobe. Actually, a little background might be in order; about a year and a half ago my husband and I moved with our two kids into my in-laws house. We were relocating to the city they live in, we needed seed money to start a new business and it was either start the business or get a house. So we took a leap of faith and it's been great. My in-laws are wonderful babysitters and roommates. My kids are getting lots of up close and personal time with their grandparents. There is almost always someone home to lend a hand, all in all it's a lovely thing.

BUT now my worldly possessions and I all live together in a guest room. So when I try and get to my closet to pick out an outfit, I find myself tripping over the box of extra school supplies I've been meaning to drive out to my storage unit, but haven't. Or I am temporarily housing the big sewing project I am working on but I don't want to leave on the dining room table. There's an unfinished quilt on top of the box where I store all of my sweaters/jackets/scarves because there isn't room in the closet. The "reading" chair in the corner is always covered with a box that contains at least 499 pieces of a 500 piece puzzle, a bare minimum of two kids clothing items that need mending, the extra blanket that we may or may not need tonight due to temperature variations, the shirts my husband is sorting for Goodwill and last week a literal partridge in a pear tree that had escaped being placed in a Christmas storage box. All of this flotsam and jetsam invariably slides off onto the floor blocking my access to at least 1/3 of my dresser drawers and rather than try and deal with the mess I decide I can dress myself just FINE from the remaining 2/3 of the dressers, plus whatever I hang on the back of the door as a "clean enough" item.

DON'T act like you don't have any "clean enough" clothes. You know those pants you wore for 2 hours to Mass on Sunday? Unless you spill communion wine on those suckers you are wearing them to work on Monday. That clean blouse you temporarily changed into so you didn't wear your Tori Amos Under the Pink 1994 Concert t-shirt with the hole in it to the Piggly Wiggly? That gets hung on the back of the door until the the door hanging organizer-thing becomes so loaded with clean enough clothes, bathrobes and tote bags that it tips precariously and prevents you from successfully closing the door.

Now I realize, to my horror, that due to unrelenting bouts of the flu, a batch of headlice and one documented case of dysentary I haven't washed anything but sheets and towels for three months. Plus there was that 6 weeks without a washing machine AT ALL because the dang thing broke under warranty which meant using the Service Provider from Sears who proceeded to break the washer in a new way, order new parts, get the wrong parts and then only truly fix the washer once Husband successfully located the leak that he was originally contacted to fix.

Plus, I haven't bought anything new in over a year because I knew we would be moving soon and the less I have to put in a box the better. Which means I have been wearing clothes that range from "retired ballerina working in artistic non-profit" to "inmate work release program" often in the same week.

So, it's a little bit like the House That Jack Built, I have to be able to fix the Everything by breaking it down into doable somethings. For instance, getting caught up on the laundry so I can see exactly what clothes I have to work with might be a logical Step one. Then getting rid of clothes that don't fit, I don't like, or aren't wearable for some reason is Step two. Getting all of the stuff out of my room that really belongs in my storage unit, that sounds like a Step "Husband, please get this stuff out of here" to me. Then I can address things like clearing off the hanging organizer on the back of the door and making sure the reading chair stays clear enough to actually read in.

I decided to do some due diligence on room organization techniques by researching on Pinterest. My main problem is that my living situation is temporary (in fact we should be moving this Spring) so I need a system in place that is both temporary and portable. Then I can get down to the serious business of being a ridiculous Pinterest fashion model for you all.

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